5 Things I Learned on My 38th Birthday



My top 5 lessons from our Beltane Birthday Celebration

  1. Quality over Quantity

  2. Don't Shame Yourself for Living Your Life

  3. Community is everything

  4. Everything IS easy and graceful

  5. Slow the eff down!

The best time of the year for me is my birthday! Ryan and I are just three days apart and on either side of the fertility celebration of Beltane. As the world is opening up again, the biggest thing I've craved all year is the connection and presence I feel when I'm at a conscious festival like Burning Man.



Since moving to Lake Arrowhead last June and only knowing one person living up here, our conscious community organically came together. I really wanted to have a birthday dinner on our lovely dirt road right in front of our house. I planted the seed with my community, and BOOM, my dinner gathering turned into 4-days of pleasure, fun, and connection!


Here are the things I learned from my birthday.


Quality over Quantity


When the pieces started to come together for our healing festival, I wanted to call in all the people I loved from DTH (down the hill). Before Covid, I loved throwing parties and events with the mentality of "the more people, the better." Well, the mountain works in mysterious ways. I feel like sometimes it acts as a guardian of who can come up here. Many of the folks who I invited up here had car problems and miscommunication! I began to feel sad that I couldn't spend quality time with all the people I care about. I had to check myself, be present with what was happening right in front of me, not what's happening outside of my control. When I settled into my present moment, I realized just how special my life here on the mountain has become. The meaningful moments captured in my mind's eye, deep belly laughs, and quality time spent with my new soul-family will be memories that will forever be with me.


Don't Shame Yourself for Living Your Life


Even though we're all emerging from our Covid bubbles, I felt like a "bad person" for having a birthday party. There is a lot of shaming going around about the "right" or "wrong" way of living our lives in this post-pandemic world. The biggest lesson I've learned on my spiritual journey is the Law of Free Will. We all get to make our own choices, as long as I'm not harming myself or others. I get to make my own choices about who I get to see, what I put in my body, and how I live my life. This leads me to the next lesson...



Community is Everything!

OMG, connection and community is one of my priorities that support me and help me thrive. I prayed for years to be surrounded by others with genuine hearts. Having lived in Los Angeles for most of my life, this component always felt like a struggle. I had a hard time making lasting friendships in a city where most relationships were transactional. I felt a lot of betrayal and inauthenticity; it was always so heartbreaking. After living in Lake Arrowhead for almost a year, I finally feel settled and at home. No more searching to feel whole. My energy attracts my desires quickly and effortlessly.


Everything Can Be Easy and Graceful


I've produced everything from films, plays, events, parties, and even a 42 person camp at Burning Man. And by far, this weekend takes the cake for being the best gathering I ever hosted. Our community poured their heart out in their offerings: we had healings, yoga, a Beltane ceremony, and a tea house. It felt so effortless. I didn't feel like I was doing too much and not feeling the reciprocity in return. In the past, I would give and give, and by the end of it all, depleted and disappointed. The biggest lesson I learned that everything can be easy and graceful is to let go of control and trust it's all working out divinely... and it did.




Slow the Eff Down!


I have been operating from the space of more, more, more. If I wasn't in a hurry, then I'm doing it "wrong". I sat in the tea house observing our gracious host, James, and his process. It was mindful, delicate, and moved at a pace I certainly am learning to get used to. I watched him as he erected his yurt, filled it with flowers, rugs, and tea. Life is sacred, a living ceremony. And if Covid taught me anything, it is that we have had our priorities all backward. Time is precious and invaluable. And like the famous philosopher Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

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